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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23383498">I Loved and I Loved and I Lost You, and It Hurts Like Hell</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniJayNel/pseuds/DaniJayNel'>DaniJayNel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Death from Illness, F/F, Falling In Love, Grief, Happy Ending, Hurt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:01:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,664</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23383498</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniJayNel/pseuds/DaniJayNel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Have you accepted it yet?”</p><p>Yelena drew back like she had been slapped, but she didn’t make a sound as she sat back in the chair, still holding Pieck’s hand in her own. She had an irrational fear that if she let her go, she would slip away immediately.</p><p>“I…” Her throat felt swollen with emotion. She took a moment to clear it, then inhaled shakily. “I won’t ever accept it, Pieck.”</p><p>Pieck sighed in frustration and struggled to sit up. Yelena wanted to help her, but she felt too frozen in place. “I’m sorry, I know I’m being so unfair.”</p><p>“You don’t need to apologize.”</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>x</p><p>Pieck is the first person Yelena has ever learnt to love. But Yelena won't have her for long, and that doesn't stop her. The inevitable follows them as Pieck's illness finally takes her, but Yelena won't ever regret meeting her, loving her, and being with her for those few short years that they had.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Pieck/Yelena (Shingeki no Kyojin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>112</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Loved and I Loved and I Lost You, and It Hurts Like Hell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Had this idea after sobbing lmao so enjoy the pain! I couldn't resist still giving them a happy ending though</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was so cold that Yelena’s fingers went numb the moment she climbed out of her car and into the frigid air. She curled her fists into the warmth of her pockets and strode across the familiar path towards the looming, almost mocking building nearby. She hated this place. Most people hated hospitals, but Yelena liked to think she had a special sort of hatred for it.</p><p>Even though the temperature was much warmer inside, the clinical smell inside made her feel like she had just gone cold from within, but maybe that was just the numbness taking over. Her shoes barely made a noise as she walked across the hard carpet, and when she stepped into the elevator she was not alone. An elderly lady with her drip on wheels and a young male nurse stepped in with her, but Yelena made a point not to even look at them.</p><p>The elevator moved slowly, and she focused on the sensation of her still cold fingers in her pockets. It was almost as if she had lost the ability to feel at all. The higher the elevator went, the more feeling drained from her, and she knew she looked frightening when the nurse glanced up at her when the doors opened. His face was concerned, but maybe he had more pressing matters than to concern himself with the very tall and intimidating woman that looked suddenly like she would murder someone.</p><p>God, Yelena wished she could. That she could just end someone else’s life and stop living this nightmare. But that was unrealistic, and she straightened her spine as she made her way down the familiar hallway to the same door, and waved politely at the familiar nurses who sent her pitying smiles.</p><p>This room smelt mostly the same as the rest of the hospital—not lived in, clean. But it also had a distinct scent that Yelena recognized, that called to her, and it made her muscles just tighten up even more when in the past, it used to make her relax.</p><p>The door clicked shut behind her, but the woman in the bed didn’t stir. Yelena stared quietly at Pieck’s unmoving face for a long moment before she slid into her regular seat and pulled a book out. The chair was incredibly uncomfortable and unsuitable for being occupied for so long, but she didn’t care. Her back started to ache before long, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t remember when last she had actually tasted her food, and again she didn’t care.</p><p>Eventually, she sat there for so long that the sun began to dip and fiery orange light spilled into the room. Yelena finished her book and set it aside, and so stared out the window at the blazing sun. She idly thought about Pieck, back when they had first met, and a small smile dampened her face without her consent.</p><p>Yelena went through her life with tunnel vision, rarely focusing on her surroundings unless it served a specific purpose to her. She missed many opportunities to form meaningful relationships with people, but she rarely concerned herself with that. She had no real concept of what love was. She understood it from a scientific standpoint, that it was merely a firing of chemicals in the brain. That it was an instinct in order for them to mate and procreate. She just never thought <em>she</em> would ever feel that rush of chemicals.</p><p>She had seen what ‘love’ had done to her parents, how it had destroyed them. Maybe her broken upbringing had tainted the lenses through which she viewed the world, and even herself. She figured that if she ever felt the need to love, she could swat it away like an unwanted fly. It was unwanted by her, greatly so. She didn’t want the distraction and the obsession. She mostly believed it was fiction anyway. There was no way a feeling like that existed. She spent her days studying until she was done, and then working and climbing her way through her career.</p><p>The day Yelena met Pieck, it was just a normal, regular day. She went to the store to grab a loaf of bread, because she had run out the day before. It was nearing midnight too, so she went to a petrol station because they stayed open. They were a little more expensive than the stores that opened during the day time, but Yelena didn’t have the time or patience to care.</p><p>It was almost like a comically bad romance movie. Yelena entered the store to find that she was the only customer, and a single man stood behind the counter. He looked unwashed and exhausted, so Yelena gave him a polite smile and headed down towards the bread. She immediately noted there was only one loaf left, and she considered the chances of people suddenly needing bread so desperately at the same time as her, and she reached for it.</p><p>Their hands knocked together—rather clumsily. The bony edge of a wrist knocked painfully into Yelena’s, but she refused to pull away and continued for the bread regardless. Her assailant had the same thought—curiously—and then she turned to see who had such audacity, and for no reason at all, the breath rushed right out of her.</p><p>Eyes shrouded by dark bruises blinked up at her, and pale lips pulled up into a little smile. Her cheeks dimpled just the slightest, and the smile somehow touched her eyes, causing crinkles right at the edges. Her hair was a mess atop her head, like an animal had created a nest there and then decided that it wouldn’t do, and left. A lock of said hair tumbled from it’s barely kept-togetherness, and slid across her forehead. She didn’t move it aside, and instead held Yelena’s gaze firmly. She seemed endlessly tired, but Yelena could sense—like a predator being faced with another predator of another species—that she couldn’t let her guard down.</p><p>“Why do you need this bread?” she asked, and her voice was scratchy, like she hadn’t used it in too long, and yet it made Yelena’s heart pulse.</p><p>Without realizing it, her fingers sank slightly into the soft bread.</p><p>“To eat,” she answered a little taken aback.</p><p>The woman laughed. “How badly do you need to eat right now?”</p><p>Yelena cocked her head and glanced about. They were still alone, and the lone cashier seemed more interested in his cellphone than anything around him. This encounter felt entirely too strange.</p><p>“I need bread,” she answered simply, not sure how else to answer.</p><p>Releasing a soft sigh, the woman took a step forward. She moved with an almost laziness, but Yelena could somehow sense that there was more strain to it. This close, Yelena realized her eyes were brown, and she thought how beautiful they were.</p><p>“I need bread too,” the woman told her, still holding onto the bread as Yelena was doing, “so could you maybe hold off until tomorrow, maybe?”</p><p>Yelena blinked. “I drove here right after work.”</p><p>That same small smile, almost secretive, dimpled the woman’s cheeks. “Then you won’t mind driving somewhere else!”</p><p>Yelena almost wanted to laugh. Normally she would have grown aggravated, but there was just something very enticing about this woman. Yelena couldn’t figure out what the hell this feeling was, why those brown eyes were making her feet feel so damn heavy. Were her knees actually weak? Why were her fingers trembling? What was this pulsing in her heart?</p><p>“You’re asking me to sacrifice this loaf of bread that I spotted first?”</p><p>The woman frowned at her then, thick, dark brows drawing together. “I saw it first, I think.”</p><p>“I’m much taller than you. I saw it from the door.”</p><p>“I was in the store before you.”</p><p>Again, Yelena blinked. This time, she frowned. “I didn’t see you.”</p><p>Another tired sigh. “I’m very short, as you can see.”</p><p>Exhaling, Yelena’s fingers tightened just a little more. “What do <em>you</em> need this bread for?”</p><p>Those brown eyes disappeared, and this time the smile was warm and excited. Yelena found herself wanting to lean in, but she remained absolutely frozen, every muscle taut.</p><p>“I have an art project I need it for.”</p><p>A surprised bark of laughter spilled from her lips, shocking her with its suddenness. The woman only seemed delighted by her unplanned response, and especially when she grew visibly embarrassed by it. Yelena hated that she could feel her ears begin to burn.</p><p>“You aren’t even going to eat it?”</p><p>“Do you see why I need this bread more than you?”</p><p>She studied those brown eyes for a very long moment, curious to see what would happen. Most people shrank away from such open eye contact. There was just something unbearably intimate about staring into someone’s eyes so openly. This woman, however, didn’t seem to care at all, and she stared back just as seriously.</p><p>Releasing a breath of defeat, Yelena released her hold and straightened. The woman plucked the loaf off the shelf and held it to her chest, cradling it like an infant. Her smile was blinding.</p><p>“Thank you, tall stranger.”</p><p>“Yelena.”</p><p>The woman gave her a slow up and down look, her expression letting Yelena know with a little shock to the heart that she was <em>checking her out.</em> Yelena wasn’t an idiot. She knew when people were interested in her, which was rare and only ever women who were into the whole taller, masculine partner thing. Yelena always saw the looks, the flirting, the touches, and she never felt a damn thing in response, and so it was always easy to just ignore.</p><p>This time, her heart actually gave an uneven thump, and she swallowed. Her mouth was dry. Her palms were sweaty. <em>What the fuck.</em></p><p>“Thank you, Yelena,” the woman amended. “I will think of you when I finish this project of mine. Your sacrifice won’t be in vain, I promise you.”</p><p>She turned and started walking away, and Yelena just stood there, frozen, and watched her. It was like her brain was submerged in slime and she couldn’t formulate a proper thought. Only when the cashier sent her a puzzled look, did she realize something startling.</p><p>
  <em>I need to know her.</em>
</p><p>She moved on pure instinct, then. On her long legs, she rushed from the store and found the woman at the edge of the parking lot, nearly disappearing into the night. It only took a couple of long bounds to reach her, and then she reached out and closed her fingers around a delicate wrist, and the woman made a sharp noise of surprise when she was tugged to a halt.</p><p>“Wait,” Yelena gasped, face flushed. “You didn’t tell me your name.”</p><p>The plastic bag dangled in her right hand, and the woman stared at her left, where Yelena held onto her. She seemed very surprised, then overly delighted. She was a little bit infuriating, and she was somehow already making Yelena crazy.</p><p>“You frantically ran after me just to ask for my name?”</p><p>Yelena didn’t release her grip, but she did straighten and attempt her best to gather her every wit. She suddenly cared very much what this woman thought of her, but something about those beautiful eyes told her that she didn’t need to worry. Not about this.</p><p>“I just…” she tried to explain, grappling for words. “I feel like I need to know.”</p><p>“Pieck.” She cocked her head, that same lock of hair falling against her cheek. Yelena released her wrist to brush the lock away, and she inhaled sharply at the tingles that raced up her arm as her fingertips brushed along Pieck’s cheek. “Finger.”</p><p>Yelena nearly coughed. “What?”</p><p>Pieck was visibly withholding her smile. “My name. Pieck Finger.”</p><p>“Finger?”</p><p>“That’s right.”</p><p>“Are you shitting me?”</p><p>Pieck’s brow dipped and she assumed an expression of offense, but her lips were twitching into a tell-tale smile. “Don’t be rude to me, after I gifted you with my name like you asked.”</p><p>“I let you have the bread.”</p><p>“And I will be forever in your debt.”</p><p>Yelena felt Pieck’s skin against hers like hot coals, and she knew how inappropriate it was for her to just relentlessly hold this stranger’s wrist, but some defiant part of her refused to let go, felt like she <em>couldn’t</em> and <em>shouldn’t</em> let go.</p><p>“You’re amazing,” she found herself breathing, the confession on her tongue before it even registered in her brain. As expected, her cheeks warmed, but Pieck only seemed delighted by it, and not creeped out like she should have been.</p><p>“I am quite amazing.”</p><p>“Why aren’t you creeped out with me?”</p><p>Pieck tilted her head again, and that damn lock of hair tumbled into her face again, and Yelena glared at it. Pieck laughed, brushing the hair back. “I’m not afraid, no.”</p><p>“Are you walking home?”</p><p>“I am.”</p><p>“You do realize that you are very small.”</p><p>“I’ve noticed.”</p><p>“And you don’t think someone might snatch you away in the darkness of the night?”</p><p>Pieck’s eyes were smouldering, and Yelena was absolutely drowning in them. She was steadily getting addicted to this hot sensation coursing through her veins, and she knew exactly what it was. The elation of realizing that she was actually capable of this was only held back by her desperate need to have this woman in her life, and so she behaved herself—almost.</p><p>“What, someone like you?” Pieck asked her teasingly, and there was no fear in her eyes.</p><p>“What if I wanted to?”</p><p>Pieck shrugged. “Nothing I can do against you. You’re much bigger, much stronger. Ben in there won’t really do much and by the time the police arrive, we’ll be long gone. So, are you going to do it?”</p><p>Yelena inhaled. “Do what?”</p><p>Pieck blinked innocently at her. “Abduct me? Or can I go home now?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“No?”</p><p>“I mean, no to both of those.”</p><p>“Should we stand here and gaze into each other’s eyes until you’re satisfied.”</p><p>Yelena’s cheeks blazed again. “Let me take you home.”</p><p>“Wow, that’s very forward of you. We barely know each other.”</p><p>God, how did people do this? Yelena knew she wasn’t being very smooth, and though she could see what a disaster this was, Pieck was being so easy going about it, and maybe that was how she gathered the courage to just barrel on.</p><p>“I look scarier than I am, and you look half dead.” Something in Pieck’s expression twitched a little at the comment, and Yelena’s stomach dropped. She carried on. “Please let me drive you home, and make sure that you get there safely. If not for anything else but my own selfish peace of mind.”</p><p>Pieck stared at her for a while and she suddenly looked very tired. Eventually she nodded, and then she pulled her wrist free but tucked her hands into Yelena’s elbow, and leaned into her. Yelena felt the press of her weight, and she didn’t argue as she helped Pieck walk across the warm concrete to her car, and opened the door to help her in. When she slipped in on the other side, she nervously glanced over at Pieck and found her staring forward, her eyes crinkled just so—and Yelena thought, <em>wow, I love that—</em>and then she started the car.</p><p>“You shouldn’t accept rides from complete strangers,” Yelena admonished as she started in the direction Pieck had been walking.</p><p>Pieck released a laugh. “Like I said, I don’t have any fears. You can head across the stop and around the corner. First left, then the house on the end.”</p><p>Yelena dutifully followed the instructions. She found Pieck’s answer made her shift in discomfort as she mulled it over, and she sensed something very heavy behind the words. Smartly, she decided to shut up about it and she stopped in front of the house Pieck indicated. Pieck opened the door, and Yelena thought that would be it. She didn’t even really expect a farewell.</p><p>Pieck suddenly leaned over and pressed a soft kiss against her cheek, and Yelena went absolutely rigid.</p><p>“Thank you, Yelena,” she said, smiling genuinely. “I’m glad you didn’t decide to abduct me. Or anyone else, that I know of. Drive safely tonight.”</p><p>She slipped out of the car and shut the door, and Yelena stared dumbly after her as she disappeared into her yard. A car flew down the street and its headlights speared into her eyes, and she realized she needed to face forward again and head home. So she did.</p><p>Was this what attraction felt like? She doubted it was love, per say. But she was definitely in a strange sort of high when she got home, and she didn’t even care that she never got some bread.</p><p>After that, Yelena thought of Pieck often. She had never had someone occupy her thoughts so much, and even the people at her work noticed. But she was difficult to talk to when it came to her personal life, so even though they tried to warm her up to get her to spill, she kept it all to herself.</p><p>This was hers. It was new and precious and it had her in awe, and she refused to taint it by sharing it with others. She wanted to keep it cradled gently in her heart, and she felt absolutely ridiculous for even thinking that.</p><p>“Yelena?”</p><p>She didn’t startle at Pieck’s fragile, trembling voice. Her eyes flicked from the hospital window to Pieck’s tired face, and she smiled. Even though they were dulled from her illness, those brown eyes were still the most beautiful thing Yelena had ever stared into.</p><p>“Hey,” she greeted softly and leaned close to take Pieck’s hand. Her skin was so thin and cold, and Yelena drew her hand up to her lips to kiss along her knuckles. “How do you feel?”</p><p>Pieck sighed. “Like I’m dying.”</p><p>Yelena swallowed. That familiar spike of pain entered her chest, but she didn’t let any of her pain show on her face. “Besides the obvious,” she shot back.</p><p>Pieck laughed softly. It was a rare sound in this last stretch, because Pieck rarely had the strength to laugh much even though she still carried so much sarcasm with her. Yelena sometimes wished she’d stop it with the morbid jokes, but then she understood them, because she used them to cope, too.</p><p>“A little better today,” Pieck answered truthfully. “I’m mostly just asleep, so I feel like life is just passing me by.” Another sigh, saddened. “I guess life has always passed by me. But you know,” her grip tightened and Yelena’s heart ached, “I’m just glad I met you.”</p><p>Yelena reached out to smooth Pieck’s hair back. “You would have been abducted eventually.”</p><p>Pieck wheezed out another laugh, tears collecting in her eyes. “You know I thought you were so nuts when you offered to be my personal uber. We didn’t even know each other.”</p><p>“I fell in love with you.”</p><p>Pieck rolled her eyes. “Ah, yes, we touched hands as we both reached for the bread, and there were <em>sparks</em>.”</p><p>Yelena gently tapped Pieck’s cheek. “Don’t be an asshole.”</p><p>“I know. I just love it, you know? I love us. I love the wildness that we are.” She stared up at the ceiling, then back to Yelena. “I love you.”</p><p>She moved in slowly and pressed a kiss to her lips, and her whole body reacted like it always did with Pieck’s lips against her own. Pieck sighed against her mouth and caressed her jaw, and Yelena hated that she had to pull away.</p><p>The heart monitor nearby spiked, and the sound of it made Yelena give a little smug grin. She was always glad to know that she still made Pieck feel that way, like her heart needed to beat a little harder just to catch up.</p><p>“I really wish I wasn’t stuck here,” Pieck whined petulantly. “I haven’t been fucked in so long.”</p><p>Yelena draped herself over Pieck’s stomach. “I think I would accidentally break you if we had to try now.”</p><p>“God, I’d let you. Let my last breath be a moan from your very talented touch.”</p><p>Yelena sighed. “I do miss it too. I miss you.”</p><p>“I miss me too.”</p><p>She immediately regretted switching the topic, and avoided looking into Pieck’s pale face. She clenched her hands into the thin bed sheet and wondered when she would have feeling in her fingers again.</p><p>“Yelena.”</p><p>She knew that tone, the graveness and finality of it, and she stubbornly refused to let her pain show as she looked up into Pieck’s face. Her eyes were teary and tired, and she probably needed to sleep again.</p><p>“Have you accepted it yet?”</p><p>Yelena drew back like she had been slapped, but she didn’t make a sound as she sat back in the chair, still holding Pieck’s hand in her own. She had an irrational fear that if she let her go, she would slip away immediately.</p><p>“I…” Her throat felt swollen with emotion. She took a moment to clear it, then inhaled shakily. “I won’t ever accept it, Pieck.”</p><p>Pieck sighed in frustration and struggled to sit up. Yelena wanted to help her, but she felt too frozen in place. “I’m sorry, I know I’m being so unfair.”</p><p>“You don’t need to apologize.”</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>Yelena shook her head. She remembered how difficult the start of their relationship had been. Pieck had been diagnosed very early in her life, and she should have died when she was still a child. So she lived her life not fearing anything, because she already faced the fear of death each and every day. Yelena knew very early on that she had fallen in love, and yet Pieck had rejected her. Over and over. But Yelena was relentless and stubborn, especially because she could see that Pieck felt the same way and she was incredibly confused on why they couldn’t work.</p><p>And then Pieck had finally told her, tears gathering in her eyes, that she wouldn’t torture Yelena with entering into a relationship with her, when she had so little time left to live. It had been crushing to learn, and Yelena had decided that she didn’t care. She still remembered the astonishment on Pieck’s face, the way they had clutched onto each other, terrified to let go.</p><p>Yelena had known that she wouldn’t have long with Pieck, but she would refuse to acknowledge that. Pieck gave her something she never thought she would ever have, and she was so grateful for it. She just wished there was something she could do.</p><p>“Pieck, you’re the love of my life, and you’ve changed me to my core. You’ve shown me what it’s like to truly love someone. I don’t regret meeting you, or loving you. I never will regret loving you. But you need to know that this is incredibly difficult on me, and I’m going to have a very empty heart after you.”</p><p>Pieck’s fingertips touched her cheek, and Yelena glanced up into Pieck’s face. She slipped and fell from the bed, but Yelena was there to catch her. Pieck cried out softly when the drips tugged free, but she only curled against Yelena’s chest and held onto her, and she felt the wetness of Pieck’s tears soak into her shirt.</p><p>“I love you,” Pieck sobbed softly. Yelena curled their fingers together and she let Pieck squeeze her hand so hard it hurt, but not really. “I love you so very much.”</p><p>Yelena pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. “I love you more than anything I’ve ever loved before.”</p><p>“Please try to move on after me.”</p><p>“I won’t.”</p><p>“Please.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“I can’t be it for you, Yelena. You’ve only had me for two years.”</p><p>“And those will be the best two years of my life.”</p><p>Pieck released a frustrated sigh and beat her fist against Yelena’s chest, but it was half-hearted. “How am I supposed to die peacefully when you’re so damn stubborn?”</p><p>Yelena finally stood when the nurses rushed in to see what had happened, and they pushed her away so that they could tend to Pieck’s bleeding arms and reattach her tubes and wires. Yelena stared down at her feet, and her chest ached so badly that she wished she couldn’t feel at all anymore.</p><p>Pieck was put under again, and she drifted off with her eyes focused on Yelena until they fluttered closed. Yelena held her small hand for as long as she could, and then she needed to let go.</p><p>When Pieck died, it was very uneventful as far as dying could go. Neither of them had family, and Pieck had nothing more than her house to pass on. They had married a year before, so Yelena had a lot to do in Pieck’s absence, and every phone call and document signed was a razor blade to the heart.</p><p>She didn’t have a funeral, because Pieck had requested that they not have one. She just wanted to be buried and forgotten, even by Yelena, but that would be impossible. Yelena stood in front of her grave, and she didn’t even realize she was crying until her warm tears dripped against her hand. She glanced up, thinking it was raining.</p><p>She released a sigh and wiped a hand across her face. Typical for her, really. She finally found the one thing that she needed, and then she lost it. Pieck had been such a chaotic, tremendous force in her life. They had been drawn to each other and Yelena felt like, if there was anyone out there creating them, then that deity had put stamps on their souls that only the other would recognize.</p><p>This world was so unbelievably cruel.</p><p>Yelena crumbled to her knees, there in the cold night air, in front of the grave of her wife, her lover and her best friend, and she broke open. For the first time in her life, she sobbed. Warm tears wet her face and her broken, anguished sobs broke the silence of night, and her nails dug into her shirt as she just tried to breathe. She felt like she couldn’t, but she knew Pieck wouldn’t want this for her. She sobbed and she screamed until she had absolutely nothing left, and then she forced herself to stand, to say goodbye and leave, like she’d promised.</p><p>She would never forget or move on, that she was certain of. She moved through her life like she had no purpose, at first, and she was overcome with the painful longing and grief that she never even knew existed. But she endured, and she carried on, until eventually she could think of Pieck and not absolutely crumble into dust.</p><p>When the end finally came, Yelena took in a heavy breath that was both her last and her first. Her eyes fluttered open and her vision was blurry until it cleared, and staring down at her were those familiar, beautiful brown eyes.</p><p>“Hey, tall stranger,” she greeted, with that dimpled smile that was mysterious and somehow smug.</p><p>Yelena allowed herself to grin. “Hey,” she greeted back.</p><p>Pieck’s fingers caressed the edge of her cheeks, and Yelena’s eyes fluttered closed at the warmth of her touch. “I’ve waited so long,” Pieck told her.</p><p>Yelena sighed. “Me too.”</p><p>Pieck bent down and kissed her, and with Yelena’s head in her lap, and sunlight bathing them, they lost themselves in their reunion, in the salt of their tears and the warmth of their kiss. When they stood, they linked hands and Yelena couldn’t tear her eyes away from Pieck’s, not even for a second. But that was fine, because she didn’t care where they went as they started to walk towards a blinding light.</p><p>So long as Pieck was right there beside her, and they never needed to be apart again. When Pieck smiled, Yelena felt her soul finally at rest.</p>
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